Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize