Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
