why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Randomize
