I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
