She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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