Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
