I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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