I want to make a zoo with you.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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