She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
