I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
