I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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