ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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