I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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