you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize