I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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