Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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