I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
