so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
