do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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