Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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