its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
i've created a new STD.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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