You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
