Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
