I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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