Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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