Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
