Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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