I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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