This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
