Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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