Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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