so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
