I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
