cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
