i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
