yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
