STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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