just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
