Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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