i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
