you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Randomize
