she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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