To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize