Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
