the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
