Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
