I wanna bring you to show and tell
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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