The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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