have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Randomize