I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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