She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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