he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
