i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
