so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
