Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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