Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
