I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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