its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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