for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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