you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
