I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
