We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
