I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize