i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Two words: nipple clamps
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